Is something I need to do! I keep pushing myself to do one more thing or just finish this before I collapse. I'm not juggling the fatigue side of things, which isn't turn increases the symptoms side of things and subsequently this affects the fatigue levels. Its a snowballing cycle. One feeds the other in turn feeding the other. Repeat.
I met up with a friend for lunch today, its so nice to socialise outside my bubble. I currently only have my mum, husband and son on a day to day basis to speak with and most of that is done before and after work/college leaving me relying on social interactions online. I miss the face to face feel of things.
But anyway, we went to town and I'd normally go with her and not take my wheelchair just as its awkward asking to put in her car or its usually only a lunch in a garden centre, normally situated at the front of said centre.
But invariably she likes to wander round and browse and I end up texting dh saying I'm in agony and just want to come home.
Once the pain takes hold I can't enjoy myself and I'm counting the minutes until I'm laying on my bed again and trying to calm the monster that is pain.
This then wipes me out for the rest of the day and sometimes into the next.
So yes, today was a lovely mooch around town. I'd taken my wheelchair with us, and it made all the difference. It was however a pigging nightmare to get around. The majority of the shops have a door step meaning I couldn't get the chair over the plinth (?!) There was also lots of items blocking aisles and boxes and 'things' around the tills. All in all it was harder to get about than it was easy.
Quite shocking really given this day and age. The pavements were also SHOCKING! very uneven and cobbled in areas which meant it was a narrow area to wheel along.
Throw in people who wouldn't move out the way or just cut you up or worst just stop I'm the path and then tut loudly if you almost hit them! Also so many hills and lack of pavement drops made it a rather fraught trip. Shame really. My arms were exhausted afterwards.
I came home and then joined husband and the two dogs for a gentle stroll in the sunshine. The wind is incredibly strong today.
This is actually a blessing when walking along as it helps push me, however coming back and having it face on is rather rotten as it makes it many times harder. None the less, I made it, came home and went over for a lovely meal at the in-laws and I drive home.
So I am shattered, not long in and ive come straight to bed. I feel im burning the candle at both ends. My legs still buzzing and ive also had cold left leg from half way up the shin to toes. Little bit concerned over that.
Ive done no physio or exercises today but I shall tomorrow. Today I just need sleep. Ive used up so many spoons trying to just
Have a life and I'm now beginning to suffer for living it as my family and friend does. I forget I'm not as normal as they are.
Right I keep making spelling errors and my eyes are burning. So good night xx
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