Hoops

Jumping through hoops. That's exactly how it feels when trying to fulfill all the hurdles I have to overcome in claiming benefits. Not just benefits actually, but life in general. Nothing seems easy. Or straightforward.

I had my ESA assessment last week. Its was nerve wracking and stressful. Far more so than the PIP one! After a strained commute to the job centre at rush hour in the morning I arrived 20 mins early, I like to be early as opposed to cutting it fine, reduces stress. 

Getting across the one way system was harrowing! the nearest car park was across 6 lanes of traffic and two sets of traffic light islands. Due to this my mum had to come with me as I would never have got across the road due to poor kerbs and effort it took to get over.
Im finding this is the case when I want to go anywhere. My chair is fab for weight to get in and out the car, but to get up kerbs and even some door steps in shops I need someone to help tip the chair and get over. So im not quite as independant as I first anticipated. 

Back in the assessment place. It was empty when I arrived, that was good I thought. too early for drunks and nasties. Alas no. they soon began to flock in, I was terrified my ex, my sons "father" would walk in. But he didnt. 

The whole thing took over an hour of questions and examinations. I was shattered half way through and found it hard to keep up and nodding and shaking my head but not really knowing what I was listening to. I had mum and a support worker from our local hub and they were v good at keeping up and helping me get my point across. 

She agreed I have spasticity in my legs (the jerking and trembling on moving) and that I do clearly have problems. She also told me of another lady she had in a short while ago with very similar issues and she was going for in patient treatment at a hospital in london and recommended me to go and try it also. 

Now I am just waiting to find out the results of her report. It could be up to 4 weeks. 

I then had pain physio in the afternoon and was beyond tired that evening. The pain physio was truly wonderful. she totally understood. She was v kind. 

I see her again next week. I am keeping a diary for 2 weeks for her to see how I am and what I can/cant do. Shes a keen advocate of pacing. Im not sure how much more pacing I can do without coming to a complete stop! 

Tomorrow I have the neuro physio. Mums coming with me after a disgraceful appointment last time. She thinks she will have me jogging this visit!!! I can hardly walk in a straight line let alone jog ffs! 

Then thursday I am back to the dreaded job centre where I have to attend a back to work interview....Id like to see what kind of job they will find for me. This again is at 9am. I will need my mum to come with.

so the hoop jumping continues!